It’s Always Sunny: Season 3 Episode 7: “The Gang Sells Out”

Watching: While freezing in this ice cavern of an apartment.

            The opening scene is of course Mac, Charlie, and Dennis arguing but what I found most interesting was the big corporate executive they were talking to. It’s that one guy from Two Guys a Girl and A Pizza Place. I don’t really care that much to look up his name, although I’m sure it was somewhere in the ending credits. Nice to know he somehow found steady employment. Moving on.

            From the beginning of the bickering in the episode about corporate sell outs and helicopter pads, to me, I am assuming this episode is going to target the power of the dollar. How everything is part of one giant corporate scheme to make or break it and that the almighty dollar dictates just about everything.

            An even better part for me was when the group was boasting that the bar was all the had and that no amount of money can possibly buy it, and all three of them take one look at that square yellow piece of paper and that completely changes their tone and Paddy’s Pub is going to (possibly) become a “rock café”. Whatever that means.

            Again, poor Sweet Dee always getting that short straw, because when the guys intend on selling the bar they’re going to “Enron” her and leave her broke and jobless essentially. However Frank being the schemer that he is has the even better idea of trying to milk the cow for all its worth; essentially what major corporations due anyway, hence the giant Jersey Shore epidemic, pandemic, any time of emic you want to classify it as.

            An interesting twist of events when Dee goes to apply at some TGIF looking place and low and behold ice queen coffee waitress is assistant manager and the new junk restaurant Dee hopes to work at. The waitress informs Dee that she has to assistant manage the restaurant because a Starbucks moved in across the street from her coffee shop and is stealing all her business. Again, this directly correlates with big corporations moving in and preying on small businesses to either buy them out, or run them out.

            Because all of the guys (Frank, Mac, etc etc) are a bunch of idiots, when they make outlandish demands of the giant corporation in order to obtain Paddy’s Pub, they loose the deal entirely. Foregoing any possible way they can be wealthy. I guess they tried to play with a bull and got the horns?

            In a feeble attempt to save the deal the businessman offered, Frank, Dennis and Mac take the business man to a strip club. I think a strip club to impose a business deal is really classy. Some strip clubs even have really good breakfast buffets, not that I would know but I guess you can infer by the amount of men in there at about 3:30am on a Monday. However the plan blows up in their face because corporate big shot turns out to be gay. Perhaps they should have seen a Chipendale dancer instead.

            So hands down my favorite part of this entire episode is when they’re sitting in the strip club talking about power bottoms, and twinks, and bears, and what type of gay men they would be. Especially the part when Dennis goes into the specifics of being a power bottom. I really could have stopped watching the episode at this exact point in time, because it made me that happy. At the end of this post this episode is getting a 5 regardless of how the rest plays out, just because of this gay lingo conversation.

            Sweet Dee turns out to be a terrible waitress by double dropping bills and drinking on the job, making ice queen coffee waitress tell her that if she doesn’t stop she’ll loose her job. Dee then manipulates ice queen coffee waitress by saying she doesn’t understand how Dennis thinks she’s so cool. Of course, since in multiple episodes there’s been an ongoing obsession with Dennis from this waitress. I think it’s really classy of Dee to play on her emotions like that, I guess it’s all about survival.

            An even better twist of events is when Charlie applies at the same job that Dee is currently working at in a poor attempt to win ice queen coffee waitresses emotions. I’m really interested to see if he’ll ever bag this waitress in any of the episodes coming up, or in any of the seasons coming up. (Even though Charlie and coffee waitress are married in real life which makes me want to gag).

            I’m glad that Charlie finally got a power trip by pretending to be the manager when Dennis walks in to try to apply for a bartending job. I think it’s really cute that he pretends to play dumb the entire time and not know who Dennis is. Why is Charlie Day so adorable in everything…why?

            I also enjoyed that Dennis continue to manipulate the ice queen waitress in order to get a bartending job there. He is absolutely shameless and she lacks any confidence.

            So in a piddly attempt to get the corporate power house to buy the bar, Mac and Frank and his yellow jacket gang go to said guys house to tell him if he doesn’t buy the bar there will be trouble. Because nothing says buy my business like a personal threat.

And Charlie finally got his moment in the sun to impress ice queen coffee waitress by saying he’ll take care of Dee and Dennis being complete jerks to her. He has a grand idea to call corporate and report Dennis and Dee for stealing, however it seems that this idea may blow up in his face, because the corporate man recognizes Charlie too. And everyone ended up loosing their job. Hooray!

            Nothing else too exciting happened during this episode.

            So again, the way they tackled the corporations of America was pretty funny, but the only reason this episode is being given a 5 as previously stated, is for the gay lingo speak. Because I could watch Glenn Howerton talk about power bottoms all day long.

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