It’s Always Sunny: Season 3 Episode 8: “Frank Sets Sweet Dee on Fire”.

Watching: While talking to Tim.

            The episode starts with Dee and Dennis reading In Touch magazine, and Frank asking them what they’re reading. I find their response of how they’re trying to stay in touch with current events is not only comical but completely realistic. When Frank mentions reading a newspaper and Sweet Dee mockingly reads something about Plutonium being smuggled from somewhere (because not even I cared that much to pay that much attention to it) really shows the mind set of most Americans and their idea of news. I think keeping up with smut media is a lot easier to deal with then facing real problems at hand like politics, war, animal abuse, famine, etc etc. It’s like celebrity gossip and fake fad news is an escape from the horror that is the “real” world.

            Mac storms in and demands everyone watch this news piece about two busses colliding because he was giving commentary on it, and the only piece they show was of him saying how the accident was crazy. Again, this is the media manipulating what they want people to hear, see, and believe. If it leads it bleeds and it’s what the media finds “sexy” as to whether or not it gets enough air play. So already I have a feeling this episode is going to play a lot into the manipulation of the media. However every character on this show is manipulating in some sort of way so I guess they go hand in hand.

            So a bit of foreshadowing goes on here when Frank wants to join Charlie and Mac on their “real” news making adventure. Dee said that that probably wasn’t a good idea because whenever he gets involved in something someone ends up getting hurt. So I guess we as an audience can infer from the title that Sweet Dee will somehow be set aflame.

            So the voyeurism of Paris Hilton purposely showing her vag to the world is the get rich and famous quick scheme Dennis and Dee come up with. She’s going to go to a few clubs, have some nip slips, up skirts, and drinks and boom! Instant stardom. However it does seem to be true the more sex tapes come up the more famous people become, even average people. Mac however goes to a nursing home to investigate the corruption behind those doors. As Frank wonderfully states, “Like people getting ass raped”?

            I really wish I could type laugh out louds, or ha ha’s, because when Mac is sweating and Charlie tells him that its freezing in the nursing home, and Frank saying that they’re trying to keep them alive by keeping it cool because meat spoils slower, I laughed for about ten minutes.

            And is there seriously a China town in every major city? I mean really, there’s like two or three in New York, and one in Philadelphia too?

            Mac has a heroic moment by punching a Chinese man in the stomach to stop him from choking, and of course Charlie didn’t put a tape in the camera, so they missed it. So they’re going to re-create the moment of Mac’s heroism.

            Meanwhile, Dee is so trashed before she gets into the club to create her drunk “whore” moment that she ends up passing out in a pile of trash. Classy. Then the next most exciting thing is Dennis gets slipped some ecstasy and starts dancing his rear off in the club. I really like how ecstasy and glow sticks somehow go hand in hand. I wonder who made that correlation between the two because I guess we have a lot to thank them for.

            While Dennis is tripping balls in the club he meets the dancing guy on the Public Access program. I think that was another major high light for me, because dancing guy is really cool. At least in the show.

            Dee then gets dragged into the home made news footage the other dimwits are making, and Frank lights the building she goes in to save these kittens on fire, and the entire time Charlie films are helpless cries and shrieks of terror. I think it’s even better that Sweet Dee throws the box of kittens she saved.

            And even classier is that they shove kittens down a well for Sweet Dee to save. I’m really surprised PETA didn’t write this show about twelve times for even depicting the multiple abuses to these kittens.

            Dennis then has the striking idea that a celebrity should save the cats, and that the news coverage would actually get some attention that way. Of course he elects himself.

            The show ends with Dee and Dennis being famous by being in dancing guys video for diaper time, grinding on each other wearing adult diapers and baby bonnets.

            I give the show a 4/5 just based on that end scene where both Dee and Dennis are dancing in adult diapers. Also, how they really portrayed the “need” to be famous and recognized for doing something, even if it’s as outlandish as sporting adult diapers.

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It’s Always Sunny: Season 3 Episode 9: “Sweet Dee’s Dating a Retarded Person”.

Watching: While drinking ginger kombucha.

            A quick plug to Kombucha Brooklyn for making the dankest kombucha ever. It doesn’t hurt that I’m good friends with Scott, so I think everyone should buy his kombucha. Moving onwards.

            So Lil’ Kevin is a local rapper that apparently is on the rise to fame. Except when Dennis points out that he is a retarded person because in elementary school he used to ride the short bus, and is actually retarded. For me, so far, just in this opening minute or two of show, I would like to think they’re going to address the stereotypes and prejudices that “retarded” people face. Or perhaps the segregation they unknowingly go through because people of today’s world are still unaware as to how to treat mentally or physically handicapped people.

            I guess this strikes a chord with the crew because Mac has an idea to form a band, however they are not letting Dennis in because he’s into femme rock glam “shit”. However when Frank goes to buy them instruments Mac picks up the fruitiest guitar he can possibly imagine covered in flames, and even has a flame guitar strap. Guess it’s flaming?

            So Dee and Dennis are keeping up a “retarded to normal” contest to prove if her new boyfriend Lil’ Kevin is actually retarded or not. I can’t even really begin to describe the levels of absurd this is. However, it does seem logical since Sweet Dee really does want to see if her boyfriend is retarded or not, so. I guess it does make some sense.

            So as Dee and Dennis are arguing over how many retarded to normal points each other has, Dee’s boyfriend is standing right at the end of the hall in front of them. However, I guess since he is a little “retarded” he doesn’t pick up on the fact that they’re talking smack about him being retarded. I think the actors played the awkward uncomfortable part really well. I think it takes someone of great skill to really master the oh sh*t look of someone listening in to your conversation.

            The trashing the hotel room scene is also another favorite. I guess Frank and company is trying to fulfill a rock star dream by “breaking other people’s shit”. Except that now a days a lot of rock stars don’t really willingly trash things because let’s face it, they’ll end up paying for it anyway.

            Low and behold Mac and Charlie used Frank’s credit card to book the hotel room they’re currently smashing. I bet the bill he’ll get for completely going ape nuts on that room will be really fantastic.

            So Dee ends up breaking up with her “retarded” boyfriend because she really does realize he’s retarded. I think the close up of him eating pop corn and laughing at cartoons is what really did it for her, however when she told him they were breaking up I felt really bad for Lil’ Kevin. Because he’s a person too, just like any other person, complete with feelings, that Sweet Dee smashed into pieces.

            I’m not entirely sure how to re-act to the song Charlie wrote called Night Man. Which oddly enough does sound like a gay sexual song. Of course laughter comes to mind, but I guess the confused looks on Frank and Mac’s faces pretty much mimicked mine towards the last half of that song. I also think it’s funny that they tackled a lot of stereotypes in music down to the clean cut bee bop 50’s singer, the dirty punk rock singer, and the Bob Dylan-esq singer.

            And after huffing a bunch of spray paint Dennis and Charlie come up with a brand new song called Day Man, because Mac and Frank kicked both of them out of their already bad band. Thinking that that somehow would make them better. Charlie and Dennis’s band is called Electric Dream Machine and odd enough their costumes look like something David Bowie wore in the Labyrinth. (Except they don’t remind me of the babe, the babe with the power, the power of voodoo who do you do remind me of the babe). So Charlie’s worst nightmare of being booed off stage comes true, and he screams in horror and runs off stage in full drag make up and all. I feel really bad for Charlie in the show. I always do.

            Dee ends up getting back with Lil’ Kevin and finally asks him if he’s retarded. He ends up burning her pretty good with this awesome rap about Dee pretty much being a gold digging hood rat, and the gang comes to the conclusion he definitely is not retarded.

            I give this episode a 4/5 because of all the great music attributed to this episode. I thought at first it was going to be about overcoming obstacles of retardation but I suppose I stand corrected. Towards the end I kind of lost sight as to what it all could really mean, perhaps making me, retarded.

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It’s Always Sunny: Season 3 Episode 10: “Mac Is A Serial Killer”.

Watching: THE SAME AS USUAL.

Four words, can be used to describe this entire episode. Mac. Banged. The. Tranny. MAC FINALLY BANGED THE TRANNY! So, a season or so back Mac met this tranny at a bar and they fell in love (sort of) and went on dates and yadda yadda yadda, well she came back this season and this time he went full throttle baby. No holds bar right into her pants. Obviously he has to hide it from the gang to stop being ridiculed. The attempts however at hiding the fact that he’s really banging a dude were feeble at best.

             Since Mac’s behavior is a little on the sketchy side Frank seems to think that he’s the local town serial killer going out late and night and murdering blonde broads. The gang, (excluding Mac) decides to do a little investigating. This included and was not limited to; Dennis and Dee dressing up like painters and psycho clowns to pretend to stalk ice queen coffee waitress and get maced in the face; Frank and Charlie interviewing Mac’s mom; Dee and Dennis going to a hardware store to get killer tools, and even re-enacting To Catch A Predator scenes.

            Apparently this creepy guy that worked at the hardware store where Dennis and Dee were stealing their killing tools from was the killer. This was found out when Dee let herself and the crew into their apartment to interrogate Mac to catch a predator style. They even had it down to where Mac brought wine coolers and there were cookies on the table. I think my favorite to catch a predator was when this one d-bag child molesting guy was pouring himself a margarita and all of the mix fell about of the blender over the cup so he had to ask for a towel to clean it up and Chris Hansen walked out telling him to take a seat. Classic.

            There was also another tactic Dee and Dennis tried to lure the alleged serial killer out of hiding by putting her on the street corner in what seemed to be like hooker clothes, when an actual pimp strolls up to her and makes her “his bitch”. Dennis buys Dee back for a fraggle rock thermos. Ah the simplicities of life.

To high light a few parts, I think the best ones were again, when Mac is talking to his tranny girlfriend and they do an extreme zoom up of the giant penis in her pants. That’s always a strong point to see this giant dong outline in some tight flare jeans. I also think Charlie trying to be a lawyer during the entire episode was really good too because he kept trying to use legal jargon to sound smarter and it only partially worked. Also when Dee and Dennis are stalking the ice queen coffee waitress and Dee’s clown shoes keep making too much noise, and they both eventually get maced in the face. I have a thing of mace, and I’ve never tried it on anyone however I imagine it to be entirely unpleasant. Perhaps I will try it out one day.

            The episode ends with Frank carrying a chain saw bigger than himself to torture the actual killer which turns out to be that creepy guy from the hardware store that’s supposedly “in love” with Dee. Oddly enough he kept killing attractive blondes which the entire episode Dennis says is not Dee’s profile because she’s not young or attractive.

            I’m going to be giving this episode a 3/5. I’m giving it an only okay rating solely based on the fact that Mac finally banged the tranny. I think maybe the episode touched a little bit on skeletons in closets? Things people are ashamed of admitting, desires they’re ashamed of indulging in etc. etc. Overall an eh job on an eh episode. Minus the Chris Hansen stuff.

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It’s Always Sunny: Season 3 Episode 11: “Dennis Looks Like a Registered Sex Offender”

Watching: WHILE THANKING GOD I ONLY HAVE 5 LEFT.

 

            I will seriously kiss the ground with excitement when I can watch It’s Always Sunny without looking for an underlying theme, or completely pulling an underlying theme out of the air and writing it down on this Toshiba tablet of mine. However since I haven’t watched the episode yet I find it funny that they’re doing one where Dennis looks like a registered sex offender right after the episode they pulled the Chris Hansen to catch a predator stuff. Seems like it will tie in well.

            “This might appeal to the whore in you” is probably the best line said to a tv mother on television EVER. I mean man, Charlie really blasts it to his mom good this episode for taking Frank away from him when he moves out of his apartment to get a “bangmaid”. You figure he’d be glad Frank is gone since he’s such an idiot and feel bad for his mom but no, he treats his mom horribly just to try to get Frank back into his apartment.

            So a sex offender that looks just like Dennis moves into the neighborhood. Even though the guy (Wendell) has about 50 or so pounds on him, maybe less, anyway, they do look similar. It’s pretty much Glenn Howerton in a fat suit. So Dennis takes a few beatings from some dad’s in a local park, and Mac’s dad gets released out of jail. He elects Mac to drive him around to take care of people on this “list” of his, and it doesn’t occur to Mac until Charlie’s in the car with him that perhaps his dad is killing these people on the list.

            I think the best part for me was how torn up Charlie was over loosing Frank. However Mac throws this nice dinner for his dad and his mom to maybe rekindle feelings and form the kind of family he never had as a child, and in return Charlie plants the seed for his mother to start banging Mac’s dad so Charlie can get Frank back in his apartment. I just can’t get over how unattached Charlie is from his mom and how he’d rather have self centered opportunist Frank back in his life rather than worry about his mother’s welfare. Then again Frank has been paying his rent for a majority of the show, so I guess I’d be pretty sad too if my gravy train left.

            The episode ends with Mac turning his dad into the police because he thinks he’s killing everyone on the list. It turns out that Mac’s dad was simply trying to mend the bridges he burned back in the day and right all the wrongs he’s done. Mac earlier in the episode was telling his dad how he always wanted to go to the baseball hall of fame with him in Cooperstown, NY. The police officer tells Mac that he was arrested because he was violating his parole by buying plane tickets to Cooperstown, NY. Mac’s dad then says that he finally will kill Mac when he’s out of jail.

 

            So considering looking like a registered sex offender is a really strong topic to start a show off with I’m gonna go with a wrong accusation for the theme of the show. I mean a majority of the show was spent either trying to repair family ties, or having a case of mistaken identity or something of the sort where everyone was trying to prove their innocence and who they are. I’m probably way far off, it’s also ridiculously late at night, and all I’d love to do is go to bed. So I think I’ll do that.

            I’m going to give this show a 5/5 just based on that surprise ending with how Mac’s dad actually was a good guy and not a bad guy after all. I think the icing on the cake was the surprised look on everyone’s face when they found out how generous and caring Mac’s dad really was. Oh, and for Charlie calling his mother a whore.

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It’s Always Sunny: Season 3 Episode 12: “The Gang Gets Whacked Pt 1”

Watching: WHILE JUST WANTING TO GO TO SLEEP AND STOP WRITING ABOUT THIS TELEVISION SHOW I AM SO TIRED.

            I think the caps lock in the above post is completely appropriate. Because here I am scrambling to make up for what myself and Netflix has messed up, two days before it’s due. But no one really needs to know that, but they do. Oh, oh they do.

            The bar’s electrical power has gone out and Frank is tired of putting his money into it to fix it. What else is new. However Dee and Charlie walk into the bar with two brand new speakers they found that fell off of a truck. They put the speakers down on the tables and the front part of the speaker detaches to show a pound or so of cocaine hidden inside. Automatically the gang thinks of how they can profit off of this and they go to a guy named Bingo in order to sell the pound of cocaine.

            Charlie at first calls the cocaine “nose clams”. I’m not entirely sure how they came up with the term nose clams but I guess whatever works the best for you no? Since Charlie and Dee are absolutely retarded they sell that 25,000 dollar pound of cocaine for a mere three hundred. So the rest of the episode the gang has to figure out how to get that money back because it turns out those speakers belonged to the mafia and the cocaine was theirs as well. Obviously. The gumbas give the group until Friday to come back up with that money or they die.

            Frank takes the crew to his country club in order to sell the drugs that they just bought. They push pills onto horse jockeys who turn out to be crazy partiers and try to push pills on white older business men while Frank encourages Dennis to become a prostitute. Mac continuously screws things up for the crew the entire episode by making bad judgment calls and making them loose all their money they’re trying to gain back. In turn Mac gets kicked out of the group and runs to the Mafia asking to be part of their crew. He even uses the word ‘yous”. I’m not entirely sure what he’s up to by doing that other than trying to save his own butt and shove it back in everyone else’s face. Because that’s what Mac does. Since this is a two part episode I’m unsure of where exactly this intends to go. If the group will manage to come up with 25 G’s or not, if the group will get whacked, if Charlie will become a horse jockey. There are so many unanswered questions I have right now, that have to wait until the next episode.

            Therefore, since there is a second part to this episode, I’m not going to rate it until I see the whole thing. I see no point in rating the episode if I have no idea what in the world is going to happen next. It’s like Carmen SanDiego. You have no idea where that woman is going, but you’re sure willing to tune in to find out. So, as of right now, the episode gets a 0/5 for not being completely viewed yet.

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It’s Always Sunny: Season 3 Episode 13: “The Gang Gets Whacked Pt 2”

Watching; I am so sick of filling out where and why and who I am watching with. I am always probably watching by myself, creeping online, or on facebook, jus being a creep watching it’s always sunny.

So the start of the episode Charlie is trying to cut this little bit of cocaine he bought from a bingo hall and ends up licking his fingers and doing a whole bunch of it. I find it funny that Dee pointed out his glue addiction and the only glue he huffs is Elmer’s non-toxic glue so he’s not getting high anyway. Also Dennis becoming a prostitute to try to pay off some of the debt is brought up and Frank becomes Dennis’s pimp. I like how Dennis is providing a service to lonely old women. Lord knows they’re probably cleaner then some of the other fictional people he’s plowed this season.

 

            Mac is somehow dubbed ‘Pussy Hands” by the mafia that he’s trying to get in good with. I think pussy hands is a long nickname but hey I wasn’t the one to assign it. I also think it’s funny that when one of the mob members agreed that Mac has gorgeous hands everyone kind of stops and stares at him for a minute while he’s dreamily looking at his card hand. Mac also strolled in with a very smooth valor sweat suit that was baby blue and completely reminded me of my uncle in Staten Island. Or half of the guido looking men in Staten Island because they do indeed wear light colored valor suits.

On the adventure that Charlie and Dee are on to sell drugs they run into the priest that Dee screwed over by telling him she loved him. I believe his name was Cricket, or something. Anyway, he turns out to be homeless and on the street and Charlie and Dee convince him to sell their small amount of cocaine to the numerous drug dwellers on the street because he’s a street merchant. He somewhat refuses to do such a task until Charlie offers him Dee’s apartment and company to sell the drugs and he finally agrees. I’m not sure why he even would want to be with her considering she essentially made him loose his job, and homeless. But hey, guys do weird things for a little bit of cheek if you get my drift.

Cricket comes through with selling their drugs and because Dee and Charlie went and got addicted to cocaine again (which by the way is a stupid made up addiction its all psychological none of it is slightly physical it’s the stupidest drug in the world), they decide to take that money and try to buy and sell more cocaine to make more of a profit, and so they can do more cocaine. I guess it’ll work out for Cricket since Dee is so strung out on coke she won’t care he’s in her apartment. Especially since when he walked in he said her apartment was exactly as he imagined it which is kind of creepy, only kind of.

Two of hearts by Stacey Q is such a great song, and the fact that it was used while Dennis was doing his prostitution job made the song even better. He’s painfully stripping for this fat old lady while Frank is in the same room and this wonderful song is playing in the background just poking fun at his misery. Frank is also taking over the roll of pimp very well. He even smacks Dennis in the face a few times, just like a real pimp would. And gets some Lil’ Jon looking chalice thing to eat cereal out of.

Also Cricket blew all the drug money on two trash cans, I guess that’s a little bit of karma Charlie and Dee deserved for screwing this poor guy over so badly.

So Dennis is about to bang the mob bosses wife when Mac is up on the roof cleaning gutters and saves the day. Frank hears the problems Mac is causing with Dennis potentially stealing his “whore” and they both start smacking him on the side of the face to convince him either to stay in the house and stay a whore or go and stop being a whore. Poor Dennis, brain washed and b*tch slapped. For me this was one of the better parts in the episode because of how funny it is seeing Dennis get whacked in the face so many times.

Charlie somehow ends up with a horse named Peter Nicompoop. He sets the horse free while on a coke/flour binge thinking the horse would be better off without him. Dennis ends up saving the day by selling Frank’s pimp chalice for 25 grand. The amount owed to the mob.

Since Dennis nor Mac would bang the one mob guys wife, she calls her husband accusing one of pussy hands’ friends of forcing himself on her, and how convenient is it that Cricket is in the bar high as a kite on blow still and screaming how it’s all about hips and nips. The gang elects him for the beating from the mob.

I feel so bad for Cricket, he continuously just gets wasted on each time Dee is around him. I really do not like her.

I give these two episodes making one episode a 4/5  because Dennis did make a good prostitute, Charlie looked cute in his jockey pants, Stacey Q is a great club artist, and that pimp chalice was pretty sweet.

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It’s Always Sunny: Season 3 Episode 14: ‘Bums: Making a Mess all Over the City’

Watching: 2#%!#!

A homeless guy jerking off behind a dumpster is exactly the first thing you want to see when you tune to a t.v. show. I have to say the sound effects for that guy whacking off is the most disgusting thing I’ve ever heard. I’m imagining maybe they stuck their hand in a jar of mayonnaise and moved it around to get these weird gross gloppy farting sounds. I have no idea, all I know is when Mac said ‘Oh. My. God”. In response to this guy whacking it, that pretty much summed up my first impression of the first two minutes of the show as well.

 

So the gang tries to put some sort of plan in action to keep the creepy homeless jerker away from the bar. Dennis, Frank, and Charlie go to a junk yard in hopes to find a junk yard dog and end up walking away with an old police cruiser and a junk yard cat Dennis dubs Agent Jack Bauer. No offense but Keifer is only a BAMF on 24. The only decent movie he did was The Lost Boys, and I saw him in the village a few months back (I was standing right next to him for like 15 minutes completely unaware of who he was at first) and he is all of 5’0. There is nothing intimidating about someone that is 5’0 let alone a guy that’s holding a cat in a police uniform consistently calling him Agent Jack Bauer.

 

Of course the power of pretending to be policemen goes to Frank and Dennis’ head and they start robbing people for money in order to get them out of writing ‘tickets’ and expect this one hot dog vendor to always supply them with endless amounts of hot dogs. Charlie goes the Serpico route and tries to bring back the justice. However when he goes to the police station dropping off a tape that pretty much admits Dennis and Frank were impersonating the cops the police officer working the counter assumes he’s homeless.

I’m going to go ahead and assume that this episode might have been geared towards the homeless and the epidemic there is.

Dee and Mac however pretend that they’re Guardian Angels and are trying to peacefully get the homeless man that’s pulling his pork away from the bar. However when he smiles at Dee as he’s pleasing himself she completely looses her mind, steals Mac’s miniature baseball bat, and pretty much kicks the homeless guys butt into next week. As he’s running away there’s something that looks like a penis that’s hanging out of his pants, I have no idea what it could possibly be, I’d like to write to the show to find out what it was, because it did look partially realistic.

The outfits that Dee and Mac had to sport while pretending to be Guardian Angels were a little on the fruity side too. Some khaki slacks, cut off black shirts, berets. They assume they did such a good job handling the homeless perv that they race to the police station in attempts to work with them and clean up Philly. The cops oblige by dropping them off in the ghetto complete with gun fire and all. Panic stricken Dee and Mac race passed the seemingly nice old black man reading a book to the homeless white man cowering on a street corner to ask where a bus stop is. He pulls out a gun and mugs them.

 

Charlie ends up blowing up the used police cruiser, and nothing else really exciting happens this episode.

I’m going to give this episode a 3/5 only because there were a few interesting parts, like how Dee beat that homeless guy when he was jerkin it, Agent Jack Bauer was a cute cat, I guess the stereotypes of feeling unsafe in ghettos and only feeling comfortable with your race gets some recognition too. I wouldn’t watch this episode again though unless I had to.

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